It has been a couple of days since my last post. What I am learning is that you just don't have this wonderful spiritual awakening and then it is all roses from there on. You are constantly dealing with the mirrors in your life, seeing the yuck about yourself, because, after all that is what it is about right? Looking inside instead of out.
The knew topic I have been wrestling with is this whole mindfulness thing, it is after all one of Buddha's 8 paths to enlightment, it caught my eye and I can't shake it. Therefore I know I about to come face to face with this lol. So what is mindfulness? I am glad you asked.
Mindfulness... The acceptance of all, the avoiding of harsh judgments.
Acceptance... You acknowledge whatever you are feeling , you take a step back and do not dfine yourself by it.
This can be in outward situation, other people, your thought and emotions.
One example is , you are on your way to work, already rushing and you get a flat tire. If it was me, normally I would be super angry and cussing etc. Instead you step back, do not judge the situation as bad and just handle it then go on about your day. See, the situation is there no matter if you like it or not, yet we have a get of jail free card from getting emotions in an uproar that help or change nothing. Also, by judging the situation as bad you are now on a downward spiral to low vibrations of anger, self pity etc that will only manifest more of the same situations for you.
At times our emotions can seem way bigger than us, in fact they feel like they rule us. This can be changed by mindfulness as well. When you feel and acknowledge an emotion you do not like , you then label it as bad, then you start yourself on this mental rollercoaster of OMG that emotion is negative, OMG I am such an awful person, it goes on and on. Instead of playing that game let's try this, when an emotion arises let's ask it some questions and explore it. Where is it in your body? What feeling is it creating? maybe even locate memories associated with that feeling. Then you will start to realize that emotion is way smaller than you , and in fact you control it not vice versa . Next take interest in the emotion, tell yourself it is okay to sit with it and really feel it. When we resist emotions and feelings after labeling them as bad we only make it grow larger. No more labeling it bad, no more resisting and making it grow into panic or anxiety. Let us just let it be. Examine, allow yourself to feel it, and know this too shall pass.
Mindfulness is the art of acceptance, it is the opposite of resistance, no more rejecting or trying to push away. Another big part of this is trying to reject our currant situations life has found us in.
So I see many things in my life that I want to change, inward and outward. I actually had to come face to face with the resistance I had toward things in my life. Never realizing this resistance was causing more negative. I have learned it is okay to want change, to wish for change, yet, when you start crave something different, cave something new, change or whatever it may be, that longing leads to unhappiness. Craving something different than what you are experiencing now creates a unhealthy form of dissatisfaction towards our currant circumstance. Then we of course start rejecting that currant reality we are in.
You can now see a clear picture I am sure, of how this has worked in your own life and how it can help change. I get it, doing what makes you feel good, following your desires etc yep that feels good. Yet, just escaping each situation we are in because we decided to label it bad and crave something opposite of we claim is bad is setting us up for failure after failure. We all have a beast in us that is never satisfied, yet, through mindfulness we are able to stop judging situations and sit with what we have at the moment instead of going with emotions and then taking action on those emotions.
I have not in any way mastered this, it actually crept up and hit me between the eyes the past couple days, I do however see clearly how it can work for the good, and how much my resistance and judging only brings me more of what I do not want, so my fellow seekers I am willing to give it my best and I hope you are as well :)
So much love, light, and blessings to you all!
Shawna Marrie Middleton
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