I am back, It has been a few days, we had a lot going on ( did I mention I have 5 kids?). This weekend was full, I had a group at my home Friday night with meditation, healing work, card readings, a house full of kids running around, my daughters boyfriend sort of took residence ( she is 15 and NO I don't mean staying the night lol just hanging out with us). I had a family valentines party with a ton of sweets and good food. It was just what I love, a house full of people soaking up the love, eating good food, and having fun. I hope your heart day was great too! I'm not one to be all mushy because love should be celebrated everyday , but I am happy to say my gift from hubby is a new tattoo I will be getting in a couple hours, sweet huh!!
My ADD is kicking into gear so let me get back on track , so many things I want to write about but I need to organize my brain! I have an open letter to single moms, a budget meal plan to share for those with a large family who are vegetarians like us, Tim Leary, Ram Dass , and Eckhart Toll have my mind in high gear! I will however limit this post to love, and parenting, you are welcome :)
I see you out there, I see you struggling to make it through the day. Somewhere along the way this very wrong victim idea took over Maybe it was not feeling loved or seen as a child? Maybe it was a traumatic event that you took upon yourself and it has turned against you, causing you to hate yourself. I see you at the brink of the abyss, then you run away. You use your god as a coping tool, similar to an addiction. Anything to lessen the load, to help you feel love and self worth, the victim always needs a savior, yet how will ever stand on your own feet when you engulf yourself in the lies that you are so unworthy, you swallow the poison that you can't do anything, be anything without someone doing it for you. You can't love you but you feel okay in only getting relief from a guy in the sky??
When did you believe this lie? When did you fall into this trap and heed the words of others that are sick too?? You have the ability in you to move mountains, you are made of the same stuff as the moon and stars, why can't you love you? You are worthy, you are not broken, you are not a victim and you are god, you are made of god. Fully capable, fully reliable. Remember that our words are our bond, we have to live what we speak into creation, the scary part is others are also being effected by words. If you listen to the words of others and let it create a world for you where you a hopeless, helpless victim, friend you will be trapped.
We seek a god, we seek a human. In fact the one thing we should strive for in any relationship is this idea that we think we know who we are, we think we know who others are ( we only look at ego) and then we say "you can do this for me, I will do this for you and we will be happy. This is a trap , you get sucked in and it is a war of ego. Now, we also have the giver receiver mentality, the giver is usually getting rewards in feelings, then they are also usually enabling to receiver in some way. Their is a way to be, where we are self sufficient and we can just hold space for others, no givers, no receivers, we hold space for each other. When we can just sit and be, listen with heart, no judging, no labels and both with the realization that to be anything more is to sink into ego. This is the same mentality with god, some are such victims that their god just keeps enabling them, instead of all the false feelings they gain, they are actually restricted from finding real life, real purpose, and freedom.
Love is so much more that what we humans can fathom. It is not ego, it isn't just a feeling, it isn't being a giver or receiver, it isn't feeling worthless so that some god can give you false security. Love is letting go, love is the detachment and pure beauty for everything and everyone. This deep gratitude for everyone and everything. Knowing pure love is beating through all of us and we are all connected by this love. It is freedom, without restrictions, it is saying you be you , you find yourself and I will hold this space for you expecting nothing in return.
Now where does this come into parenting? Let me tell you a little of my experience. I was originally taught under a Christian mentality that as parents you are to totally control your children. That they have no clue what is best, they are too naive and the devil will snatch them up if you aren't a hawk over them at all times. Then if they try to push these very stern, structured, controlled life, well you beat them into submission, you "break their wills". It is sick and luckily I could never harm my children , then got away from a crazy ex along with his family who had lived this way many years. Children are built in with an inner guidance system. They do everything at a fast rate without our help at all, they live inside water for 9 months, they come through the birth process, they learn to sit, crawl, walk, eat, and a million things by age 5. Then we have the audacity to think they become stupid and we need to be their god. It is when real love comes in that we can bypass this ... Stay tuned for part two when I give some personal experience in the life of parenting 5 kids.
So much love, light, and blessings to you!!
Shawna Marrie
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