TRUST

I went to a group meeting today. I did not agree with everything there, but I did meet some very sincere people.. The topic for discussion was trust. I heard stories of victory, where people were pushed to their limits, they were so stressed, worried, and finally at their breaking point. They had to throw their hands up and say to whatever higher power they believe in " I give up, I can't do this anymore, I can't figure it out so here ya go". I heard stories of people needing a place to move by a certain date, everything was going wrong, it came down to the very last day, within hours and the deal came through. One lady who is from Africa was forced by war to live in a refugee camp, the gorilla militia groups had found the camps, and as she put it, they were gunning people down like swatting flies. She said she had this conversation " I know I have my inner guide always with me, always guiding me, but tonight Mahanta ( their term for the highest state of god consciousness) I need to see you, I need to see with my eyes that you are really here and you will protect me.
She said she was so afraid and shaking that it exhausted her so by night fall all the people were quiet, the kids stopped crying and she closed her eyes.
She opened them just a little and she said there was Mahanta, standing right there at the foot of her bed. She was still too scared to move so she closed her eyes , through the night she would open them and there stood Mahanta watching over her. She said she looked at the clock on her wrist and will never forget it was 5:30 am when she finally sat up and said " you really did come to protect me", he answered " of course I did and now you can believe" . She of course made it out of there alive and now resides in Louisville KY USA.

My jaw was wide open as I listened to all these stories , I realized I had a ton of stories since birth I could tell as well. I could write a book on trusting in your higher self and the divine , the miracles that will manifest. See worry really does no good, it is a human thing We rush around, we think we have to worry, figure things out, stress out, in reality we don't . My mentor says to me all the time, " if you knew who walked beside you , you would never fear". That is so true. If we could see we are good, we have so much to offer, the universe is good, and it is for us, we wouldn't worry , we would really live. I think of all the time wasted worrying for nothing, yes hind sight is 20/20, but I hope that I am catching on to the memo here lol. After so many miracles when will we get it?

I am learning still to trust on deeper and deeper levels. I laugh about what my past life must have been, because this life has been full of close calls that drive me to worry and then miracles always happen, I have never been without, those worst case scenarios never happen. Right now I am in a position where I am trying to get my business going, and most of my audience are people that left the crazy cult church with me , but are still so bound in fear they really have no clue how to open their minds. Instead of all that love and acceptance they read in their Bibles they have shut me out and I am now labeled a satan worshipper, or as my own Mother In Law put it in one of their secret Facebook groups " Shawna has went to the dark side and is evil, she has taken my son and grandkids and is brainwashing them, poisoning their minds".. It makes me LOL, but these people call themselves Christians lol. I could do so many things out of a place of fear. I could run back and claim I again believe the same as them , yet keeping my inner beliefs quiet, just to have friends, to have an audience, for more people to read my blog, to come to my groups, to like my facebook post. Thankfully I am not that desperate yet lol.
See, really non of it matters. I fully trust that when I follow my hearts passion and desire, when I am giving it my best, that it will work out beautifully. It might not be right now, but it will. If I run off in fear and compromise who I am , what I believe, and give into the pressure what am I really gaining? I might have fake friends, I might have hundreds of Facebook likes, a full meet up, but I will loose myself and be back at square one.

So my point is at sometime we have to let go and trust in whatever higher power we believe in. When we try to figure it out, or do things to try and make it better , most of the time we make a bigger mess. Even if it feels like it is coming to the end and something has to give, hold on a little longer. I have an issue with thinking I have to figure everything out. When my husband was switching jobs fear hit me, I was like okay well I can keep babysitting ( even though I was miserable with it) , we can give blood, I can borrow money blah blah blah.. Shane had to stop and remind me , no, we wont be doing anything out of fear . Then my mentor let me know, you let go of it, you surrender it, speak your intentions and then stop! The term trying to figure it out in itself is madness. Trying means enduring hardship, figure is like a figure 8 that goes on and on , getting nowhere, and what the hell is "it" anyways . So trust is the key. Without it we are a mess.

I know one thing for sure I am ready to get it, I want to be at the place where when something pops up, I know without that it will all work out, that the universe is for me, and I have no reason to fear. This is my prayer for you as well friend.

So much love, light, and blessings to you!'
Shawna Marrie