Hi world!
I created this blog space back in 2012 and I did not create one blog post! I just came to the realization of my huge fear that if I put myself, my passions, my talents out into the world that big bad world might reject me and all that is in me. This time fear won't win! I am stepping out and ready to go for it.
See I had something huge happen, some call it awakening , a shift, being enlightened. I will not bash the very conservative, strict, abusive, controlling religious group I found myself in at the age of 18, see I allowed myself to be there out of fear. Even though I gave them a run for their money because even in being there my very non conformist self couldn't stay quiet.
I have always known there was more. I have known that society only shows and feeds you certain things because they have to control us somehow, God forbid we become free thinkers and start searching for the truth. Most live in this state of zombie like living. You do just what you are told, believe what your fed, and go on to fit right in with societies "norm". Even though most are stressed, depressed, angry, unfulfilled. It is because this isn't how we were created to live.
I stumbled upon information thanks to the internet and library back in the summer of 2014. I was so fed up with my life, with trying all the things the church told me I had to do to be seen as worthy to GOd, to make it in the rapture that is to happen any second ( for thousands of years now). It didn't work! I was the same angry, wounded, hurting person.
I started by reading books about the origins of Christianity, how the Bible really came to be, the real life of Jesus. I started finding out that even our forefathers were not Christians as so many say they were. They as well were deep into the occult and on the path to ancient truth,
This all blew my mind yet at the same time such a feeling of relief that I was not crazy. It was strange because I would mention things to my husband and the group of people from the church I left but I was so careful to stay in the boundaries of Christianity and not rock the boat too much. For the most part my husband , who was raised in this very controlling , abusive church ignored me and held onto what he had been taught. I kept silent for about 6 months, studying, reading , having amazing conversations with myself.
As fate would have it right after we moved too far to continue driving to this church an explosion happened. Finally years of sexual abuse towards children and others started to surface. Pastors etc that had done awful things to so many kids and it was covered by the main founder and Pastor were bubbling to the surface. I took this as a sign it was so right the path spirit was leading me on and an opportunity to speak publicly about my history with the church, the abuse I endured etc. This all made my husband and so many others take a good look at what they believed is the truth, at why they had blindly followed what another human said was the truth etc.
Eventually this led me on the path to where I am now. I attracted like minded people, I have tapped into my gift of healing, of helping others with my empath, intuitive, clairsentient gifts. I have found my love of crystals and chakra and more! I took the step out of fear , out of the what if's and I told myself I can't live with the regret of not following my heart. So here I am . Actually, it was not easy, it was not smooth lol and of course I am in process , always healing, trying to become the best version of myself. Being a parent and wife in this process of change has been very challenging. I have had to re-evaluate all of it! How do I want my marriage? Living with another human full time while both going through huge transformations, how to parent from this new awakened life?
So I am offering my knowledge, my experience and what I learn each day in hopes that you too will see it is possible! It is possible to live an amazing , abundant , happy, purpose filled life that you create and stop others from creating for you. Also to help guide and assist in any way possible.
This is just the tip of the ice burg as far as all I have experienced and I will go into detail as the time comes, I have lived a crazy, beautiful, painful life in my 33 years everything from being a teen mom, drug addiction, a leave it to beaver wanna be and religious freak, going through all types of abuse to everything in between lol. I hope my journey can help you as well.
looking forward to being on this journey and growing with you!
So much love, light, and blessing to you all!
Shawna Marrie Middleton
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